when to question decision?

just a few more
THANK YOUS' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got it to the post office at 4.25 - because of course my printer decided it would not print so I had to run to a neighbour and beg and now paranoid that he saved it on his computer
anyway it has gone and should be delivered tomorrow
not that I think it will make any difference, apart from causing me more stress, more self damage da da da da

thank you Gordon for the help over the weekend especially

I am still wading through legal 'stuff' which is sending me crazy
why am I doing this
when I know at the end of the day I am almost certainly NOT going to win this appeal

my care coordinator has said now I have sent in more notes, I should try to distract from it all until the tribunal
I cant do that
It is in my head day and night
and each time I think I have found a ruling or judgement or regulation that supports me
I find a counter argument that slams me down
I have no legal training and I feel like I am running screaming through a maze of semantics
it has taken me hours to finally find the legislation that says about 'reliable'
but now I am not even sure if that is any longer in use

bless you Gordon, for your understanding

it got too much earlier, I had to just get out to get away from it all - and of course the whole while I was out my head was saying 'see see you can navigate you can go out you can do those things so you are just a bad person'

I feel so rubbish now
my care coordinator said 'just be yourself and say the things you said to me and they will see you are being honest with them about all your problems'
but that doesn't matter does it
because unless I can fulfil every 'dot', I will fail

my obsessing is driving me mental (more mental!!)
I detest not knowing what they are going to ask, and cc said that its better not to know so I can just say what comes to mind
but my mind plays tricks and shuts doors on me and then I remember nothing

I actually cant think anymore
I cant remember examples
I cant begin to work out how often things happen
I cant flipping well do any of it
all I can do is cry
how pathetic is that