Help Pls! What ESA should me & my wife be getting

Hi myself & my wife have been getting ESA since Dec 2017 (my wife was a district Nurse but had a non fault head on car accident which added a Mild Traumatic Brain Injury to her current list of health conditions which lead to her NHS contract being terminated).

We are new to the world of ESA so its complex really! Ive recently had a letter from ESA saying increase of £60 per week starting April then 1 week later another letter reducing it by around £30 per week (no explination for it). Ive now made 6 phone calls in 12 days and all promise callbacks but still im waiting (initially i was told within 48hrs then as each deadline passed i rang again day after day to be told 4 times i would be called within 3hrs yet no calls then today i was told callback within the hour! Yet again no callback).

So im wanting to know if you could please advise me which rates/premiums/deductions should be correct for our curcumstances. So that once i win the prize in my battle for a callback i will be armed with the correct amounts that we should be getting.

So we are married couple with 3 children
My wife gets hrc pip & i get hrc dla
I get carers allowance for caring for my wife
My wife gets carers allowance for caring for our 12 year old son (he also gets dla)

So the given amounts that i know for sure we should get are

£114 couple rate ir esa
£23 couple rate Enhanced Dis Premium

Now it gets complex and we've had so many swaps from SDP single rate/SDP couple rate, carer premium x1/carer premium x2
Then we've had times where 1 carers allowance amount (£64) is then deducted & times where 2 carers allowance (£125) amounts are deducted!

So in 6mts we've never had a single change in any of our curcumstances (ie we always been getting 2 carers allowance & always both been on hrc for dla&pip) yet we've had 3 ESA rate changes from £145pw to £210pw to £175pm so its an absolute minefield.

I hope that all makes some kind of sense & thank you in advance

Hi Gordon thanks for your reply, ive used 3 calculators & i get different outcomes from each!

Ive now had my callback from esa manager who has actually now taken another £32 per week off our esa (when i was calling thinking we should get more! So shot myself in the foot there)

So they say this is what we now get & have been getting since nov 2017 £145pw

Couple rate £114
Income guarantee £23
1x SDP £64
2x care premium £72

Total esa £273

They then deduct 2 x carers allowance so makes it £145 pw esa & carers so £273 ish per week in our pocket

I then thought about another way that i believe they should have done it/we should be recieving benefits per week of £335 based on this route

No actual carers ££ paid to us but underlying entitlement to carer premium

So esa

£114 couple
£23 Income Guarantee
£125 2 X SDP
£72 2 X carer premium due to underlying entitlement

No deductions to be made as no physical carers allowance is paid to us due to overlapping benefit (getting SDP in our esa)

Total per week £335 in our pockets via this route

So £60+ per week more (also means we been losing £60+ per week for 7mts now).

Am i correct in that the above amounts can be paid by cancelling carers allowance??

If so how on earth do we go about having all this changed as im already close to my mental limit as the last year has totally blown me away.

Thanks in advance