Change of circumstance transfer to Universal Credi

Hi, any help would be gratefully appreciated. My partner has lived in UK for approx 12 years she has only ever claimed carers allowance for caring for her son who has severe cerebral palsy. After seeing each other for 4 years she moved in with me along with her son. I have a 10 year old daughter and was claiming tax credits al9ng with Pip. In addition I had some other none income related benefits and a disability pension from the police.
When she moved in I informed tax credits about a change of circumstances. They immediately stopped tax credits and said I had to claim universal credits. So I started the process asap. It was then the nightmare started. A system came to light that makes pip seem sensible.
The application was completed online and all the information for it was given. This started an appointment to check our is further. Sylwia at the time explained she was a full time carer but made a few sales online to earn a little extra money. They said no problem but she would need to attend an habitual residency test HRT. Plus a gateway interview regarding her incomem she completed both and at the gateway which was the second appointment was told she didn't need to be looking for work because she was a carer. Then a letter came through saying she wasn't believable for UC because she wasn't looking for work. That sounds crazy to me. We have had 4 appointments with 4 different people , all who seemed to be lacking in knowledge and gave different advice. I was rold I needed to attend a commitments apppintment even though I am assessed as not having to go to the job center. I was told in that meeting I would need telephone meetings. After leaving I recieved a telephone call saying I didnt need to attent any meetings because I was assessed already as being in special group.
In my initial meeting the worker noticed I was in a bad way and said don't worry you will get better, you will have to work hard though. I said that was condescending as doctors had told me I wouldn't and that I worked hard keeping my condition stable.

What do I do about the decision regarding my partner. We have a month to appeal. But is it worth it or will it be more stress to have it all thrown back in our faces.

At the moment I am furious.

Regards

Castle