Hi

Ok so it's tomorrow and my mood and thoughts have been everywhere for over a week now, before when iv had to speak to people, whether here or on the phone or seeing the advisor who is coming with me tommorow all has a different feeling to this as its all been talking "everywhere".

When I filled in the form before I asked for another copy so I have another ESA form showing everything I wrote down before (though with how it is right now it feels like a different time altogether). Will they have seen the from i sent already or is that a different department? Will take my copy tommorow.

The assessor should have read your ESA50 and all supporting evidence.

Ok so i had my assessment the day after i last posted. Have had some time away from thinking about all of this (hasnt happened like that really), but wanted to post here anyway.

As iv posted before, the whole thing has had an impact in a number of ways, and in the buildup to it on the day was that way as well. Had arranged for the disability solutions advisor to drive me there, and she could tell from how i was walking across the car park (backwards and forwards) that things were having an effect. Drove to the assessment centre and spoke for a few minutes in the car (hard to remember clearly right now but i know we spoke!), then went in and then into the waiting room. Which was a silent environment, not one i am good with. was called in and the first thing i can remember the guy saying was "i wont keep you long", then asked who i had bought with me. didnt go through the questions in the way set out in your guide, can remember him asking about if id filled in the form myself, and that the advisor did a lot of the talking as well while i typed it all onto a screen.

Something that was mentioned on the Drs letter (from a while ago) was about not being able to do a driving environment situation for example, he then said about if i could drive as it stood out with the letter mentioning a driving enviornment. I said that i could, as in a had passed a test (10 times, loads of anxiety/breakdowns/couldnt sleep), but dont really drive, wasnt something i thought would be a thing really??

Another thing mentioned in the ltter (something id mentioned on here) was a thing about a line saying I "would continue to look for employment", something written on a letter when i was on JSA, this was explained to him by myself and the advisor and he just said "yeh, thats ok, iv put it all down on here, the letter was from October and things change". There was nothing about physical examination, he did ask how long i had been through this (lifelong condition), and also about how often i had ruminating thoughts (all the time).

After the advisor spoke some more, and he drew attention to my restlessness and stimming after id described it (which he called stemming and i corrected), his phone went off, then he looked to wrap it up. i said before i go i wanted to straighten out the situation with the driving (that i didnt really despite being able), and the description of "looiking for work" from a while ago. He again said it was ok, and asked to photocopy the ltters as he hadnt seen any before (i had sent one a week earlier). That was it.

despite looking to clear those things up, they have still played on my mind obviously, along with a load of whats ifs and situations, has affected me in a load of ways from going out at all to restlessness, sleep etc. Questions werent asked like in the guide, which is ok, but is this because he had read through my ESA50 and got the answers from there?? I had looked to be thorough on all of that form, and the advisor mentioned about struggles with change being a descriptor.

Right now its tough to think about all the ins and outs id been thinking about up to then, and iv taken till now to mention it here, any thoughts are appreciated as always.

Yeah