Peace of mind

That is right, the past few years since not being in a job environment there has been so much processing and gaining of perspective, having learned and grown so much would not want to lose that by going into another wrong environment. Going through that assessment would also have a big impact as it is redoing all of the externalising.

What you said about masking was something I had to do (unknowingly) all my life until getting to place where I arent in those situations, so a genuine identity is forming. This isn’t to say there aren’t constant symptoms and issues bmthat are always there though.

Have a diagnosis from a consultant but away from this don’t personally look at it as a “label”, I am me, haven’t heard of the act you said but overthinking and reinacting situations is a big trait of all this no matter how irrational, nothing has actually happened!

Think what iv found as TheDayToday mentioned is that reading news or over reading (comments, tweets etc) then brings on more of the thought, over Christmas it hasn't been as much as there were maybe other thoughts (though doesn't mean they were great thoughts either). Hypersensitivity and taking in all things around you often without perspective can mean things are only a couple of steps away from becoming withdrawn and meltdowns. Sometimes find myself in imagined situations over all of this that aren't even somethig that has happened!

One way or another this has always been a part of things, it was only getting away from a NT job environment that I realised how heavily depressed I actually was, as I hadn't really ever felt anything different, due to not experiencing anything different before. On the reverse side, now being away from that things are processing, but there's always a thought of not taking for granted how my "state" is, time and space are so important.

As another question, the UC rollout is meant to be in this area in March apparently, will that affect anything at all?