Esa50

Hi everyone;
I’m new to the forum and have had an esa50 in the post which I have until the end of April to fill in.
I was previously in the WR group and have had a tribunal before but that was over 6 years ago so I feel back to square one.
I suffer with mental health problems, I’m diagnosed as having BPD and I’m also heavily dependent on alcohol. My partner helps me out an awful lot and does pretty much everything for me on a day to day basis.
I haven’t left the house in almost 5 weeks as I’m having a difficult time with my anxiety but I have a GP appointment this week as I feel I can’t go on living like this. I suffer severely with my moods, I’m almost always irritable and I am often aggressive/confrontational and verbally abusive. My temper has gotten me into physical altercations on quite a few occasions when I’ve been out, one resulting in me having to be taken to hospital.
I’m also addicted to prescription painkillers as I have a back problem too. Without them I feel in pain. I’m currently on quite a number of medications and I see a psychiatrist.
I’m so worried about filling this form in, I struggle with social situations so going to somewhere like the CAB would be difficult for me. Do I just use guides online and fill it in as best as I can? Will I be judged as being competent if I do fill this in myself? I know how ridiculous they are at passin judgements and I’m dreading a medical as my last one was terrible. I don’t know how I’m going to face going out and having to deal with it again when I’m struggling to leave my house in general.
Sorry for the huge rant but any advice and help would be really appreciated.

Thank you for your reply.
I have a question regarding filling this in. Do I do it myself? Will they assume I’m fine/competent if I do so? It would actually be my partner filling it in on the downloaded form via laptop.
I know CAB can help but I don’t feel they will be able to explain my problems/illness as it would be a complete stranger.

I’ve filled my form in now;
Only problem I’ve had is a supporting letter. My GP does them but charges £30 and can’t specify a time it would be ready by as it can take 21 days. My form needs to be in by the 24th.
The receptionists have offered print offs of my full medical history etc is that enough? My psychiatrist also doesn’t offer supporting letters and didn’t last time I claimed.
I feel really down about this now as feel I have no chance. I was really hoping my GP could recommend I have a home visit too as I don’t think I can cope with going for a f2f.