face to face assessment currently onESA support gp

Hello all i only subscribed to this site a few days ago.. I got a letter last friday sayng i had my face to face appointment yesterday.. I wish now that I had rearranged another date.. After aweek of stress plus going to a few other appointments such as my GP and My balance therapist and also havign counselling i was extremely stressed.. I frantically ranga round asked alot fo people if they could come to the assessment with me as I cant go on my own.. finally my neighbour agreed to come.. We were delayed and had to wait for about halrf hour before we were seen.. i get frustrated when things are late but im not aperson to show my feelings much .. I wish I was.. but i was walkign aroung the waiting room as icouldnt sit still for long due to lower back pain and that mornign i woke up with acramp on my calf.. Anyways I was seen by a foriegn lady doctor (so she said she was maybe i should have asked for some credentials) I had a bit of difficulty understanding her accent and she spoke very quietly a few times i had to say "What??" Anyways I know i should have shown my pain and disconfort and even my tears but i kept all that inside:( I did have to at one time get up and walk in circles int he room.. All in all I feel right now that I dont think I told he everything I should have told her:( I know i wrote alot on my form so I suppose they will take that into ccount.. I hope so anyways.. When I got home I was exhausted .. I lay down in bed to watch abit of telly but instead dozed off.. till I got a call froma friend.. I was that exhausted I didnt even feel like getting out of bed to make my dinner as it was that time:( but I had to push myself as I do have cats to feed even tho i didnt feel like eating.. All day today I am exhausted.. its been such a draining week and even more draining assessment.. I did tell the doctor I tend not to make more than 2 appointments in any one week and this week i had 4!! I am stressign that they may put me in the work related gp but i know full well I am not ready for that.. hell ic ant even use public transport to get to places i have to use the regular taxi firm i use just to know that I am safe.. I wish I had got to this site alot sooner and had a chance to read thru everything .. I feel so alone:( and depressed.. I have made an appointment to see my GP next thursday who said she will be supportive.. I just need her to see me this way so i will be making notes in my diary daily on how i am feeling to show her.. hopefully if they ask for a report from her she can put that info about how stressed I have been since the assessment.. I am a big worryer I just cant stop going thru everything over and over in my head arrrghh I hate this sorry to vent:(

Thank you for your response.. I have agrophobia.. maion thing i do have is BPPV and Vestabulothopy with Visual Preference which are two balance issues.. this time i even had a letter from my balance therapist sadly its somethign that i cant say when it will happen but the BPPV is very debilitating.. he also gave me a leaflet to explain what the vestibulothopy with visual preference is.. and some symptoms are that I cant go into crowded places for examply supermarkets where everythign is really busy.. i cant handle room swith very big patterned wallpaper or carpets either it makes me unfcomfortable and dizzy.. the doctor just took them off me and ddint evcen look at them till i picked the letter up again and said "I hope you can read his handwriting but it was short notice and I had already had the apt booked with him" then i reached for the leaflet where I had highlighted the bit about going to supermarkets. and pointed it out to her .. i dont know how much notice she took tho as she went straight back to the computer and started typing.. I even wonder if she is a doctor because she was typing away like i was dictating to her I have never seen any doctors type that fast before lol . I also have depression, anxiety, panic attacks, headaches and a constant fear of my anurisms I had years ago so every time i get headaches i fear its my anurism again, lower and upper back pains and lately i have been getting joint pains and feelign lathargic.. I even asked my GP if i could be having Firbomalagya as some friends have suggested that I may have.. She said there is no real way of diagnosing Fibromalagia.. if thats the case how come i know lots of people that do have it and how were they diagnosed?

The last form i filled in i think was two years ago and i was given a face to face assessment in nottingham and i live in leicester.. I rang to say I cant make that as I need one in leicester.. the lady on the phone was forcefull saying because I have mobility issues I cant go to the Leicester one because of health and safety incase of fire i cant use lifts and there are stairs.. I told her I NEVER use lifts anyways (again my balance is effected when i do) and allways use stairs.. my mobility issues is when my balance issues are flaring up and in that situation i will be extremely stressed so i will have balance issues but i can still go up and down stairs by holdign the rails.. she said but you still cant get down fast enough.. to which i replied in case of a fire you should NEVER RUN down stairs in the first place.. she was very ratty and it was left that i will attaned.. but i wrote to my MP after someone suggested i did as she was forcing me so I did and then within 4 weeks i got a letter saying i was in the support group and no need to attend the face to face..

One time before that I think when it was ATOS after my face to face assessment i got a letter saying i was fit to work and gave me a copy of the answers that was given at the assessment.. and i definately said NO to some of the questions but the assessor had put down YES so i lost points.. I appealed that decision and had someone from welfare rights to come with me as I was stressed out and couldnt really speak i was in tears all the time (i think I was at my lowest depression point that time) .. 5 mins into the tribunal they all said i was not fit and awarded me the Incapacity benefit..

I need to dig out my copy of the form i filled in to see exactly what i had written.. but again i didnt join this site when i filled the form in so i may have rambled on abit like i do lol

I just got my decision letter and I am so stressed out they gave me 0 points and i will not get esa from 13th september 2017.. so I was expecting a payment in my bank this saturday I guess i wont get that now I have £0 to my name and bills and mortgage going out.. IM so scared and stressed.. I called them to ask for mandatory reconsidereation the lady said I have to claim Job seekers or universal credit.. more bloody paperwork I cant deal with this its tipped me over the edge I have noone to help me or talk to abotu this and reading all the paperwork and online docs is making me feel all fuzzy brained I canty take anythign in .. So stressed.. in the results there was no one mention of my BPPV and vestibulothopy with visual preference which is all my balance issues.. that really debilitate me when they flare up and they are flared up right now.. damn ic ant even type without typos now lol.. I feel so lost