Four and a half years later....

So the question is not that everything should be done 'correctly', but that things should be done correctly, when this is expected, and is related to something important. Isn't that why we are all here? So, yeah I might worry too much and obsess with the details, but also my own experiences are a factor. For example, I absolutely don't want to give the local authority (or anyone) any excuses to blame me for anything, but at the same time I avoid contacting it, for the reasons I had explained. So I think that behind all the detail and the length, there's an underlying logic. Not an infallible one, but a logic nonetheless.

Hi Denby,

I have now learned enough about Asperger Syndrome and autism to dismiss having either.....many of the signs are simply not there, and also the questions in these tests I find too generic, simplistic and even dumb. I'll write something about that on Medium or the like. For example, just because I avoid people, it doesn't mean it's wrong, or even 'eccentric'. Who has established these things? To me being alone is a rational choice: I dispense with the 'pros', which are extremely few, and avoid many cons, since most people are to the ones like me, just an unnecessary burden, and mostly a pain in the neck.

The 'tale of the porcupines', a fable by Schopenhauer, explains it all very well. But thanks for your concerns, and I wish you all the best.

S

Personally I consider I am not very Asperger's. And I condemn the medical decision to stop diagnosing Asperger's but lump us in with autism, as I believe there are differences. Certainly like you I clock others' emotions - at least some of the time. But my other half would certainly agree that at least half the world are a bunch of incompetent idiots who act very sloppily. I couldn't possibly suggest which official departments employ many of them....
I agree that if one is stressed by circumstances/other issues it makes it harder to be tolerant. Other people may misunderstand this effect on our reactions to them.
And I do agree that for us the AQ50 raises many questions about how it is phrased. And like you I will insist on giving details that I consider relevant. Doesn't make one popular with the shallow-behaving/thinking people.
Very best wishes,
Denby

To return to the topic: in a previous message there was a reply that stated that the problems I have been having with the DWP are common (I can't find it and I cannot find the start of the thread either), so I'd like to elaborate on that view.

Whilst the problems are common, my story isn't. I'd like to clarify that I am not in the support group, but the WRAG one. Yet I received almost 5 years of arrears, for a benefit that normally (if I remember well) lasts for a year. But certainly not four and a half. In all this time I never had to meet with these dreadful people at the local Jobcentre, and yet I received thousands of pounds.

After the DWP had done its utmost, for years, first to ignore me completely (including my MP) then to start replying to my complaints in the most ludicrous and patronizing ways, the turning points suddenly appeared, that changed everything:

1. Since I wasn't receiving a proper final response with a signpost to the ICE, I complained to my MP. He did his best, and agreed to accept my complaint to pass on the PHSO. The PHSO refused to investigate my complaint because it said it must go through the ICE first (which the dwp had prevented me from doing , in every ways) but it did the next best thing: it literally forced the DWP to send me a proper response to my complaint, meaning with a signpost to ICE, which previously had never happened and was prevented in every conceivable ways, through lies and excuses. The PHSO asked the DWP to clarify its complaint process to me. The DWP still continued to send me farcical replies, so I kept returning to the PHSO over and over addressing the fact that the DWP continued to prevent me from escalating my complaint in a proper manner and with the correct procedures. The PHSO, surprisingly (I say this because I know innumerable people have been let down by the PHSO, which is why I consider myself lucky) , continued to chase the DWP, basically telling it: 'Nope. The DWP must send a final response and signpost the complainant to ICE, otherwise we will start investigating this very maladministration and decide in favour of the complainant' ( I don't know exactly what was said, but I remember the PHSO telling me something along these lines).

2. after the DWP had run out of cheap tricks, I received the proper final answer, and I immediately made a complaint to the ICE. The ICE took another year and a half. All factors which in the end played in my favour, although I say this with no smugness. But these are the facts.

3. the ICE requested the DWP to send me a mandatory reconsideration along with a consolatory payment. I could not believe that I was getting a MR after almost 5 years. The consolatory payment I deemed quite ridiculous, but I accepted the solution since I was at least getting a MR. I firmly believed that I would win my tribunal case and receive at least a few months of payments. But that's not what happened; instead, it turned out to end up 15 or so times better than that, because....

4. the decision maker immediately found out fully in my favour, which meant I didn't have to prepare a battle in a tribunal, which I could not believe. Not only that, the DM had found out more maladministration than even the ICE did. The result was that I had won my case without going through anymore tribulation, which I was preparing myself for.

5. So now the question was how much was the award, not if I would get it. So I had to provide bank statements for almost 5 years, doing detailed accounting of all the pocket money I had been earning as self employed working a few hours a week (earning just enough to buy my food, I had not paid any bills for years, because I could not). Now I thought this would be a biggie, because there were hundreds of these micro transactions. I did my best to try to make it as easy as possible for the DWP, by basically doing the accounting (it would have been a bad mistake to expect the dwp to figure all that stuff out). Still, I thought I had done a terrible job and that the DWP would refuse my evidence. Instead, it was accepted without any fuss, and I was awarded a LARGE payment.

But the point is this: without the PHSO and the ICE, I would never have gotten anywhere. Before the tables turned, and once the ICE had accepted to consider my complaint but before it investigated it, the Head of Legacy Benefits had written to me a pompous and patronizing letter about how the DWP basically had no time for me, since it had entered into 'extensive communication' with me (which was farcical, since I had been practically ignored for the first one and a half year). I found this letter ridiculous, because essentially it stated through patronizing pontifications, that the DWP doesn't make mistakes and it was all my fault. This time I gave the author of the letter a piece of my mind, which the ICE had read.

I will publish all this elsewhere, but the reason why I am writing here is that I believe that every case is different, and something can be learned from each. The injustices are the same, but that's not the same thing as what happens in relation to them, if anything happens at all. I believe it's mostly the luck of the draw. I was lucky to find some people who really took the trouble of putting things right, but I don't think this is common.

I am not feeling upset about this point, at all. I just wrote the above because it might help someone else. I myself had read as many case studies as possible while I was going through the whole insane thing. I say 'insane' because I did not elaborate on why my ESA was stopped....that's the insane part. But that's for another time. Ironically, I think that the injustice is irrelevant here (common) but what has been done about it (not so common, I think.).

Dear Denby,

not only I agree with all you wrote, but personally I think you make more sense than most people. And yes, there's plenty of fools around. Let's not mince words. I am not saying I have not been stupid, (or even a complete idiot) or still don't make mistakes, but as someone wrote, 'I don't keep adding to my shortcomings'. But throughout most of my life I have always noticed a kind of 'wall' standing before me and others: most people talk a different language, as it were....you try to tell them one thing, and it's as if you told them something completely different, it is astonishing. Then, you tell the same thing to someone else, and it might be that this person entirely 'gets' it. This is found for example at the Jobcentre: most of the work coaches etc I frankly deem quite stupid and ignorant (I have reasonable facts to back up what I am claiming. And I am not saying that all of them are), but I remember many years ago a couple of them, they were completely different. They seemed to be either neutral or even tried to put themselves in my shoes. They listened before speaking or making judgements. The 'coaches' I found just before I lost my ESA, were just complete fools, for example, as soon as the 'interview' started, the 'coach' said to me in a patronizing tone of voice: 'You aren't a child anymore!'. This without knowing anything about me at all. Can you believe this fool? I have been homeless, been sleeping in the snow half dead with nowhere to go, without knowing anyone, without asking anything, and this total stranger thinks that by giving me a quick look, they know everything about me.

So it's not just an impression. Yes, there's lots of fools, and incompetent and sloppy people around. This has always been confirmed by even the best thinkers. They also advised to always retain your composure and to try to be strategic with them. Because otherwise the situation degenerates. Unfortunately, this is not easy to avoid. One reluctant king of the ancient world wrote to himself: 'When you rise in the morning, tell yourself that you'll find ignorant people, foolish people, mean people, incompetent people, selfish people, thoughtless and mindless people. Can a world exist without them? No. Then do not be overly surprised when you find them, and try to work with them the best you can.'. And this was pretty much the ruler of the world.

As for autism, yes I have read about the controversy about names, kind of similar to my M.E. 'chronic fatigue syndrome' (a description that always sounded somewhat funny to me) or whatever it's called these days. I think one of the things I do best is immediately noticing how someone else feels....bored, annoyed, happy, indifferent, detached, indirectly spiteful, friendly (more rare) you name it. Ironically, I am very bad at noticing my emotions. But I think this is very common, and understandable: everyone gets swept by the torrent of their own emotions. Emotions are always more powerful than reason, though not necessarily better in all cases.

I was considering I might be on the autism spectrum because when I was about 4 or 5 I used to rock my head in bed....but after your message I did some research and found out that it's not uncommon for children to rock their head in bed, a behaviour that is outgrown by the time school starts, which is exactly what happened to me.

But I still don't exclude I might have other mental health 'issues', or even some milder post traumatic stress disorder, etc. But in this world, can anyone really manage to live a life with their mind fully intact? The fact is that the whole world is a madhouse, so I am hardly worrying about how 'normal' I am or not, for most of the time this simply means fitting the mold. And yes, the questionnaire frankly is preposterous, the problem is that it is too shallow, some of the questions are frankly stupid, such as 'would you choose to go to the library or to a party?'. I presume that if I prefer to read the autobiography of Charlie Chaplin at the library because I find parties with friends or strangers boring and dull, then I am on the autism spectrum? That seems frankly stupid....first of all, not all parties are the same. If it is a party with people I love or loved, I'd go any day.

And yes, the last party I had, about 20 years ago, didn't go well, I was observing all these people talking mindless junk, and wasting time, and I wanted to go back practicing guitar, so I asked everyone to go home, ha ha. Schopenhauer wrote that most people rely on the outer world, because their inner one is very poor.

Of course, if one is lucky enough to have around one or two good souls, then one should treat them well and take care not to drive them away or be unpleasant with them (I have made this mistake, and it's now too late. So be it.) This advice too was given by S.

In regard to burocracy.......I call it burocraZy, though it's probably not an original idea at all. Still applies, however. Dealing with people in general is the luck of the draw....just a few weeks ago I spoke at someone at an advice centre, the 'advisor' was terrible, I was trying to do my best to explain what I was trying to understand, and I was being interrupted with 'So what's the problem?'. The implication was: 'Make it extremely short, I don't have time for you'.

But now I know these mindgames, in this case it's better to try elsewhere. Or, if I want to have a little fun, use 'the broken record technique' : just repeat what you said before you were interrupted, word for word, ha ha. The other person was snorting in the phone.

Anyways, that one didn't go too well either, I guess, ha ha.

Thank you Denby, I really wish you all the best, and best of luck.

' I have always thought that the only thing to do in this world is to laugh, otherwise one has to go insane.' -Charlie Chaplin

'When you find fools, you should see them as if you were watching a comedy, or if that is not possible, as if you were going your way and a rock stood in it. You can't get angry with a rock.'. -Schopenhauer