Substantial risk questions.

Hello there. All my medical reports from psychiatrists say that I have moderate risk of suicide with no plan but there have been some intent shown (some intent due to impulsivity). For my previous ESA assesment I had always had (high risk of suicide) but that was when I had a good support worker and we managed to convince doctors to write that.

The only doctor who is willing to write it is my private doctor.

Although NHS doctor wrote in one part of her letter

MSE evidence of self neglect present, looked dishevelled and molodourus. Eye contact was downcast, affect reactive. She does experience flashbacks and reliving.

Risk: of self neglect from her symptoms, chronic suicidal ideas but no current plan or intent. Needs ADL to asses the current impact of her symptoms on her self care abilities.

The ADL. Assesment never happened due to me falling out with the team.

Another doctor wrote;
Risk to self is moderate, ongoing and chronic suicidal ideas no current plans though she said she has some intent.

She also wrote self neglect with hair unmade, trousers were old with holes in them.

My question is what do I make of all of this?.can substantial risk to self be from self neglect?

What about this moderate risk with someintent?

As I said private psychiatrist who knows me for years would write more but she is private not sure if she will be available etc. And they propably put more weight on NHS letters.. please advise. Do I need to admit myself to hospital and convince them that I have substantial suicidal risk to be in support group? I know how I feel but they don't necessarily are writing this

Advice please.