I don't think I can do it.....PIP medical

I have the DLA to PIP interview coming up in a week. I seriously think that it is going to tip me over the edge.
I have bipolar mood disorder with chaotic moods but mostly depression.

I don't think I could be any better prepared. I have filled the forms in with help from here. I started doing them before I got the form because I knew I had to do it when well. I gave absolutely loads of information. I got the form checked out by CAB and they said it was good. I had a letter from my support worker, a short letter from my psychiatrist, a letter from my husband/carer and a letter from myself.
I have an advocacy worker coming with me to the interview.

I just don't think I can do it. My last medical was years ago for ESA and it was awful. I was literally just out of hospital and I had my CPN with me.....but the woman kept on trying to put words in my mouth. She bullied me for a better description.

I am genuinely beginning to feel suicidal. I know this is a drastic solution but I can't bear that I am being made to repeat all the awful things that I feel deep shame about......like my personal care....or lack of when I am ill. I keep on worrying......what if I get into such a bad state that I can't get across what I am tryinbg to say? What if I am TOO articulate? I have a mood disorder....I could be anything on the day!

I am being advised to contact my psychiatrist to ask for hospital. Hospital is better than dead......but then I have to face the consequences of not turning up. I am not looking for advice on my mental health.....I am just so frightened.

I suppose I am looking for some sort of comfort......that it might not be that bad? That people DO get through it without having to go to appeal? That some of the advisors are actually ok?

Hello hippyhappy,

I hope it's ok for me to pipe up and comment on your post. I had my PIP assessment on July 21st and I was in such a mess with nerves, anxiety and depression. It all just seemed so huge and overwhelming. My mum came with me for support, but I was still very nervous. I just started crying in the waiting room, and both of the receptionist ladies were brilliant. They both offered me water, or a cup of tea, things to read, tissues. One of them explains exactly what would happen and how long it would take. When I was called in, I was still very anxious, but the assessor was absolutely lovely. She gave me time to calm down, she reassured me about what would happen and explained that she would have to ask me questions, not because she didn't believe what I'd put on my form or was trying to catch me out, but that she just needed to hear things in my own words. She helped me if I forgot something (for example, I to,d her I couldn't cook for various reasons and she said "and I expect if you did, you'd be extremely tired afterwards" because I'd forgotten to add that). She advised me to go back to my GP about certain things she felt he could give me more help with. She was kind and very reassuring throughout the whole interview, and said that she wasn't going to do any physical exams as she could see I was in pain, and she explained the she would have to state that I had declined, but that I her report she would make it clear that it was her decision. As we left, she said that she knows the assessors get a bad press, but that they are on our side, there to help us to get the awards we deserve. I have to say, it was as pleasant as it possibly could have been, the staff couldn't have been kinder, and I have since been awarded standard daily living and enhanced mobility.

I know it's easy for me to say, but please, please try not to worry to much. In the grand scheme of things, it's only an hour to two of your life - try to look at it like that, just as something you have to get through. I really do wish you well

A x

Hi I have had a home visit for PIP for amongst other things, psychotic depression so understand what you mean. I have also had other home visits in the past and they have been quite perceptive and not pressed me much on things. In fact at the more recent one, for PIP, the lady briefly went over what was on the form and confirmed with me a few things and then it was over. If you have someone with you that does help. Kind thoughts, you can do it.

Thank you so much for your replies. I am making myself so ill over this. I keep on thinking I won't make it to next weds. My dr asked me today, is it the assessment or the result that is worrying me so much.......and it is both really.