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TOPIC: shock divorce - please help

shock divorce - please help 8 years 6 months ago #13945

  • worldgirl
Hi all - My husband of almost 30 years suddenly told me a few days ago that he had been having a seven-week affair and wanted a divorce. Then he moved abroad with his girlfriend and we now only have email contact regarding any financial settlement.

This has come as a total shock, with no warning, because we had a very close and happy marriage. We were perhaps just a few months away from moving abroad together(due to EU healthcare rules and my age, it couldn't be sooner) and apart from leaving me in pieces, it has had a horrendous impact on my financial future.

I've told the DWP about this change, and have reported severe shock and mental distress in addition to my other chronic physical problems, which are why I get DLA and ESA contributory. Will they take my current mental state into account? I am receiving counselling through my GP soon. As it stands, I have ESA until next November.

Ironically, a lawyer has told me that any financial settlement doesn't have much regard to my disability, and in any case we don't have a huge amount to argue over. I know a divorce financial settlement lump sum isn't taxable, but what are the DWP rules on this kind of capital? Will it affect benefit when (and if) I get it? Anyone else been through this?

Merry Christmas (not)!

Re:shock divorce - please help 8 years 6 months ago #13970

  • lavenderlady
Hi Worldgirl

I am very sorry to hear of your very upsetting situation. It must have been a terrible shock for you. You must be reeling.

You say you are currently in receipt of DLA. I do know that if there have been any changes that have been present for 3 months or more you can ring and ask for a 'change of circumstances' form. If you log onto the DLA section on this site you will find info regarding this matter and how to fill in theform.

If in 3 months time there are changes then get a letter from your GP confirming this and also a letter from your Counsellor. Unfortunatley, stress and upset could cause your physical health to deteriate too so do keep this in mind, when in 3 months time you will be able to submit the facts and the relevant letters confirming any deteriation.

My understanding is that your divorce settlement will not affect your DLA

Your entitlement to Income Support however is a different matter. On this site the amount that you are allowed to possess without it affecting your Income Support is I think £16,000, however, do do check this figure,I could be wrong.

Do bear in mind that your Solicitor might not be up to date with his/her knowledge of benefits entitlements. It's like a doctor, some specialize in ENT others surgery and so on. So do double check any information that is offered to you in good faith re beneits etc...If in doubt consult a Welfare Rights Officer or Community Legal or even the CAB and of course familiarize yourself with this website.

I do hope you will be feeling a little bit better soon and that you find the Counselling helpful.

Best Wishes

Re:shock divorce - please help 8 years 6 months ago #13976

  • lavenderlady
Hi Again

If you look at the top right hand side of the page you will see SEARCH. Tap in SAVINGS and a page will pop up where you will see that this question has been asked and answered on Forum a number of times.

Eventually by clicking here there everywhere as you look at the answers you will eventually come across a page where by clicking yet again, a pop up Disability Alliance page and low and behold is all the information about SAVINGS and means tested benefits etc...

I realise how upset you are, so I hope this further info will help you access the info quickly. thereby reducing some of your worry.

Best Wishes

Re:shock divorce - please help 8 years 6 months ago #13978

  • kathy1
Hi Worldgirl,

Sorry about your circumstances, and sorry cant help with you question, just popped in to offer a hug. Keep you chin up, i know its easier said than done, but try.

Kathy x

Re:shock divorce - please help 8 years 6 months ago #13987

  • lavenderlady
Hello worldgirl

I have some information that might be helpful to you in your situation. Please could you check your inbox.Click Profile to get there


Re:shock divorce - please help 8 years 6 months ago #13990

  • pata1
If there are PM's waiting for members, they should receive an e-mail telling them, if they've chosen this option.

If not, then members can read and send PM's by using the User Menu at the left hand side of the page and choose 'Messaging'. It's not necessary to the My Profile.
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