what will happen if the whole family is disabled?

I have an serve autistic son who is 13 years old now,I currently got ESA and will have medical assessment soon. (I'm suffer work related stress and depression).I'm really suffering too much stress ....
People commented that my husband could have asperger Syndrome
and asked him to go to GP to refer for assessment .(haven,t did this yet)
but if three of us became disabled , then who care who? at the moment, my son is in child regisiter now. the grounds is we neglect child.( actually we didn't neglect him, but he is so easy to run away,Because we lost him for a couple of minutes, then just phone police to help, then we become neglect child ---the social worker also put too much stress for our adults).If two parents are incapable to care for their son, then could my son take away from the government?? --we love our son and he is important family member for, if I lost my son ---I will heart broken and my sickness--depression will increase .

so I'm wonder whether the ESA assessment pass or not pass ---maybe just not care for it .

Shall My husband also go to assessment for potential Asperger Syndrome??
If , he is, then what will happen? at the moment, my husband got care allowance, I used to full time working mum to support family financially.---but now it is work related stress caused depression let me off from job for more than half year.

Thanks a lot for potential suggestions.

sanhong wrote:

I have an serve autistic son who is 13 years old now,I currently got ESA and will have medical assessment soon. (I'm suffer work related stress and depression).I'm really suffering too much stress ....
People commented that my husband could have asperger Syndrome
and asked him to go to GP to refer for assessment .(haven,t did this yet)
but if three of us became disabled , then who care who? at the moment, my son is in child regisiter now. the grounds is we neglect child.( actually we didn't neglect him, but he is so easy to run away,Because we lost him for a couple of minutes, then just phone police to help, then we become neglect child ---the social worker also put too much stress for our adults).If two parents are incapable to care for their son, then could my son take away from the government?? --we love our son and he is important family member for, if I lost my son ---I will heart broken and my sickness--depression will increase .

so I'm wonder whether the ESA assessment pass or not pass ---maybe just not care for it .

Shall My husband also go to assessment for potential Asperger Syndrome??
If , he is, then what will happen? at the moment, my husband got care allowance, I used to full time working mum to support family financially.---but now it is work related stress caused depression let me off from job for more than half year.

Thanks a lot for potential suggestions.

IMO there is nothing that would stop an adult with asperger from being a carer, in fact part of the way it can affect the brain means that they would be more likly to do a good job because of the way the brain works ... the trait of making sure things get done and not forgetting items and making lists is a positive not a negative trait

a search of the net will find you people with asperger doing very complex things for example flying a plane

also if you did a staw poll on here you would find many families where all or most are sick if you have a couple and one is sick then often the partner can become sick due to stress of dealing with the DWP and many other factors

The NAS has a helpline here .

Thanks a lot for your kind response. So I should let my husband to do assessment as well. nothing to be worried if he is Asperger. as I knew lots of clever people are asperger .

Hello sanhong
I am very sorry to hear of your family's health problems. You say your son is on the child register because your local council has said you neglect your son. I'm asssuming the child register is the child protection register in which case the local council has a duty to consider what support is needed by your child & you & your husband help you care for him. Regular reviews should be taking place to make sure the right help is bweing given to you all & you & your husband should be invited to attend the reviews.
My advice for you is to ask your son's social worker to refer you to the council's Welfare Rights Service for a proper assessment of your benefits & help you to decide what is best for all your family. If the council doesn't have a welfare rights service then ask the social worker to do this. You can also ask the council's Adult Social Services to look at you & your husband's care needs & for advice about benefits.
If the social workers tell you they can't do any of the above then consider getting in touch with your local councillor & ask him/her to discuss your situation with the council's Children's & Adult Social Services.
You can also get in touch with your local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice & help with your benefits & advice about your son being included on the children's register.
I hope things work out for you & your family.
Best wishes
maggie