PIP Application Update

Hiya.
The move over from DLA to PIP was around 6 years ago for me.
I have several mental health diagnoses including Paranoid Schizophrenia, traits of emotional personality disorder, anxiety, depression and ptsd, ocd and eating disorders that have never been formally diagnosed and probably symptoms of DID. (I've been single for 10 years to recover and still live in hope of a happy, healthy relationship).
My illnesses are invisible. I can imagine most people can't comprehend what it's like to hug their child and see there face turn into a gargoyle right before their eyes and what that must put them through.
I'm high function dispite every thing I go through. I'm constantly on the verge or collapse at the moment and fell and smashed my face into the door frame a few weeks ago due to stress. What did I do? I tried to rest as much as possible but at the end of the day I keep going because no one else is going to look after me, my son or my house. I get a bath everyday regardless of how much time and energy it takes me, I make myself, my house and son presentable and meet his needs to the best of my ability. I live as healthy lifestyle as I possibly can and take a holistic approach to my health care. I have no support as I'm currently fleeing abuse.

The first time I applied I received no points. Manitory was rejected. Went to tribunal, my sister took a over and I was awarded higher for both. (previously higher rate care, low rate mobility).
The process took a year an I was awarded three years at tribunal, one which had already lapsed, so 2.

A year later DWP contacted me stating it was time to reply so I did. I scored 2 point at the medical which my sister attended with me. Again mandatory was rejected and back to tribunal. Process took almost a year.
Once I was back at tribunal for a second time the judge stated that the original order made by the courts to the DWP had been breached, that they had broken the law by calling me back for reassessment too early before the original order had lapsed. They put my original award back for a year only.
A year later it was time for me to apply again but this time it wasn't a reassessment, DWP wanted me to start a brand new claim from scratch. I did this time with the help of a charity. I sent the form off late February this year and had my PIP stopped around the same time.
I have just received a letter this Wednesday the 17th June asking me to attend a medical over the phone this Monday the 22nd of June.
My doctor is trying to support me and I'm now awaiting support from the mental health team (they are likely to support me for 6 months and sign me back off).
I called the DWP today explaining I'm constantly on the verge of collapse and can't attend my medical.
They were very reassuring that they didn't want to put me through the stress of a medical but who knows if it was really genuine or not?
They've cancelled my appointment and my doctor is taking over.
I'm an absolute nervous wreck over this and have been for years, it's really effected the quality of both mine and my sons life and I feel like they're trying to make me homeless or depend on people who will abuse and control me.
I'm exhausted.
I will keep you updated if I can.

Hiya.. Is there a way of finding my previous posts without having to scroll back through the forums?

Thanks. I can't see anything. Maybe I need to log in from my computer

I'm constantly feeling faint, blacked out and smashed my face into a door frame and I'm constantly exhausted on the verge of panic and expending all my energy on keeping myself from having a panic attack. My doctor wrote to the DWP saying I wasn't fit for an assessment yet they keep sending me appointments. The DWP said my medical evidence wasn't good enough for a paper based decision because its all older than 3 months. They told the doctor that because I'm not under and medical care (they signed me out of mental health care after the funding cuts) or on any meds (anti psychotics are possible some of the most dangerous drugs available and should be allowed for human consumption) that they needed to make sure I wasn't a 'bogus claim' even though by now they should have years and years of information about my health and have some very sensitive information.
I'm at the doctors tomorrow and she's helping me fill out a form so I can get a paper based assessment. After reading the email newsletter that went out today I realise that I need to read about the mobility section because my doctor won't be aware of what they are doing. I have left this late as it's all been far to overwhelming for me to deal with alone with the state of my mental health. It just makes me doubt myself and makes me feel like I'm an awful human being (most likely how they feel about themselves) and drives me to feeling suicidal and not being able to carry on.
Where can I find the old webinar and what's the bare minimum I need to read to share with the doctor. I had hoped to solely leave it in the hands of the doctor but I feel like I better do something after reading the newsletter or they're going to leave me without. I had support from a charity named solidarity but I can't get hold of them.
Sorry if this is incoherent. I hope you can make sense of it.